question:
I have recently been sharing with another sub. Part of our discussion was on pleasure. he feels that he should not get any pleasure from serving, it is all about the Master's pleasure, not ours. I disagreed. i feel our pleasure is important but different.
answer:
this is a fantastic question and one i had to ponder a bit. for the most part, i agree with you rather than your friend. as a submissive and slave, we have to derive some kind of personal pleasure from our role or else we would not have been attracted to this lifestyle in the first place. whether it's sexual excitement, psychological stability, military-style structure or whatever, the slave receives some kind of personal incentive for serving a Master. that, to me, is the true beauty of a power-exchange relationship. by surrendering my life over to Master, He receives the life and happiness that He deserves and i, in return, receive the peace and balance that i cannot otherwise achieve on my own without Him.
that's not to say that we always get pleasure from the act itself. Master often asks me to do things that i don't personally enjoy doing, but because i am doing it for Him, i end up loving it. for example, the other week, Master had me clean out dog shit from the grooves in the sole of his boot. that is not something, as an individual, that i even remotely enjoy. however, as His slave, i loved performing that action and was oddly touched that He would allow me to do such a thing for Him. through surrender, we find bliss and, yes, even pleasure.
on the other hand, however, there are many "subs" who serve only within the parameters of what will get them off. in this case, i agree with your friend. these "subs" are very common in scenes and play parties, but instead of actually surrendering, they are merely turned on by the fantasy of surrendering. once the scene is over, they zip up and go. and, during the scene, if a Dom leads them into something unexpected and outside of what they have come to expect from their fantasy, they immediately snap out of their "sub" mindset because it is no longer the fantasy they want. i've seen this several times. these types of "subs" pretend it's about the Dom but, in reality, control the scene and make sure it is always what they want from it. therefore, they never reach a point of actual surrender. this is the type of focus on personal pleasure that is unacceptable to me as a slave and submissive. it should always be about the Dom and we, in return, find a beautiful existence through it.
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